It’s probably a little taboo to compare the dubious backstage activities of stars of the 70′s to a fault with a car in a blog post, but it is kind of relevant here.
I feel rather like I have been bent over the bonnet of my Audi TT and penetrated – not by Jimmy Saville but by you. Twice.
As you’ll have seen in the press, stars of the 70′s are being rounded up like sheep in an episode of 70′s Sunday afternoon cotton-wool televison One Man And His Dog. They are being hauled before the courts to answer for things that may or may not have happened in the dressing rooms of TV Centre – when let’s be honest the world was a very different place.
Cars had wind up windows back then, a simple mechanical system for putting a piece of glass between a driver and the elements. I remember my dad’s Austin Maxi, a lurid orange thing, which was probably the rust to be honest. He and I used to have competitions to see who could wind up the windows fastest. He usually won but had I been a teen with a prowess for masturbation, it may have been a closer call.
But I digress, my dad, being quite cool in the 80s bought an XR3i which had electric windows and went at 1,000,000mph on the school run. It was like stepping from the Stephenson’s Rocket onto the bridge of the USS Enterprise, and I don’t recall it’s Dagenham-manufactured windows ever breaking.
Unlike the ones on my MKII TT, which have. Twice now, two different failures. In the space of three weeks.
And it seems I’m not alone.
You need only visit the TT Forum to see it’s such a common issue that there is a ‘stickie’ for MKII Window Regulator failure. Almost daily, TT owners post there about being let down by cheap components in their expensive sportscars, leaving them insecure and prone to the elements.
As you know, Hitler isn’t happy about this:
And nor particularly am I …
It makes unlocking the car problematic to say the least
The thing I don’t understand, much in the same way I don’t understand anyone agreeing to have sex with Ken Barlow allegedly, is that you have already publicly acknowledged this issue in a Press Release, seen here yet are unwilling to fix it free of charge and would like £500 instead. Jon Zammett, your Head of PR who made this statement, is still your head of PR I believe.
Asking £500 for what is effectively a piece of cable and a plastic cog is rather like only receiving your Jim’ll Fix It Badge on the proviso you ‘puff on Jimbo’s special cigar’. It’s an abuse of your position.
You should simply fix it for free for affected owners, it’s what’s termed a ‘common fault’. A component on the MKII TT, which as the Sale of Goods Act would put it, simply ‘is not fit for purpose’.
The reason the likes of Savile, Hall, Roach and others got away with what they allegedly did for so long, is that people kept quiet. It seems to me that now the public and the victims have found their voice, there will be justice brought by the momentum of the mob – and not a moment too soon.
Well unfortunately for you, us Audi TT owners have also found ours via the beauty of one seriously hacked-off owner. Me.
Do you know what Nemesis means?
So, now your dirty little secret is in the very public domain, will you man-up and deal with it or will you stick your head in the sand like you have for the past 48 hours with my hand up your backside like 70′s favorite Rod Hull’s Emu?
Just like my failed window regulator, this isn’t a wind up.
Vorsprung Durch Take-that.
