• The internet is not some back-street boozer in Wapping
• We were here well before Fleet St was
• Much in the same way not all journalists are raincoat clad, trilby wearing rubber pigs like the ones on Spitting Image (see pic), not all bloggers are spotty virgins masturbating over Page 3. Some of us are professional, well educated and with hotter girl/boyfriends than yours
• Facebook is for children. Twitter is for grown-ups.
• Just like your chavvy neighbours’ Pitbull, Social Media can bite your face off if you poke it with stick
• Bloggers’ build their audiences for free. You buy yours with £1 holidays.
• Bloggers’ opinions are our own, and we stand by them. We don’t need a disclaimer
• Some bloggers are not as naïve as you think we are
• Bloggers’ fans and followers are engaged with us, are yours?
• You go to work. Work comes to us.
• Some bloggers are paid for their services, get freebies and have smoke blown up their arses by PR’s, just like you do. Deal with it.
• Choose your online fights carefully, bloggers have nothing to lose
• Shit sticks. So when throwing it around the internet, be sure to check which way the wind is blowing as it has a nasty habit of coming right back at you
• Feel free to delete your tweets from the public timeline and your posts from Facebook but you’ll look very silly post fight. We won’t have deleted ours, or yours from our timeline, and hell, we might even write about it
  
• Cmd/Shift/3, Prt Scrn and Home/Power Button are a blogger’s best friend
• Smart bloggers keep a stash of things for a rainy day
• Bloggers will gladly hand you a bigger shovel or more rope to hang yourselves with. We have an endless supply of both
• If you’re involved, your audience is watching, and so is your editor
• Bloggers have very big hard drives, fast internet connections, immediate access to publication platforms, no editor and very large, highly engaged audiences. You should take a moment to think about this
• Lord Leveson is irrelevant to us
• 99.99% of bloggers do not want your children to die, your cat to drown or you to be taken outside and shot in front of your family. So please stop tarring us all with the ‘Troll’ brush
• There is a marked difference between ‘Trolling’, ‘Satire’ and ‘Mild teasing’
• Think twice before pressing send. Then think twice once more
• By simply understanding that you no longer set the agenda but contribute to it, we can all move along and play nicely

If you found this blog post useful, you’re very welcome. Welcome to the internet and the wonderful world of social media – AB