A Waste of Energy 16/2/12 by Dan M

Forgive me for going into some detail at the start of this email, I feel it important to the story.

Unfortunately today I had to contact Southern Electric because my dad is an elderly pensioner who has emphysema and is on antibiotics and steroids because of it, he lives alone in a first floor flat and has been having problems with his gas meter.

He had used his emergency credit on the meter and put in an amount that should have covered it for it be to reset, this didn't happen.

I then put £2 in because the meter told me he owed £0.60. The meter then told me it was taking 38pence, then another £1.60. This left my dad with approx 60pence gas(??), and still no emergency.

So I went and put another £2 in the meter. It then took another 24pence, AND THEN ANOTHER £1.16 leaving approx £1.80(??) gas, STILL no emergency!

So I rang the CS's at Southern Electric and after 5 minutes of being on hold at £1.10 per minute I finally got through to a chap who asked me to go to the meter but not to put the actual gas card in. He asked me to:

"Press the red button until it bleeps, then press it until you get to screen 30"
I replied "There is no screen 30"
He told me I must have missed it and to try again. Bearing in mind these screens don't move up in chronological order like any normal programme would, they skip to 31, them 4 then 25, 26, then 17 etc etc etc and you have to 'reset' it each time to start again.

After that he asked me to go screen 13, then 25, then 27(all relatively apart from each other again) and he proceeded to tell me nothing more than I already knew other than the fact that it takes 30% of whatever I put in!!!!
I was so infuriated by the ineptitude of his commands and customer repertoire that I actually asked him if these meters and his training were designed to be completely confusing for people understand! And not just a 30 year old like me, they must be like programming the space shuttle to the elderly!

This went on for another 5 minutes until he eventually told me to put the card in! So I flew up the 2 flights of stairs to retrieve the card, I put the card into the meter and we went through the same rubbish as the first time. I'm quite a calm pacifist 99.9% of the time but this was making my blood boil, we were getting know where and he was just making things more complicated.

He asked me if I'd like to speak to a manager, to which I replied I would love to! After another 5 minutes on hold he came back on the phone and told me that there wasn't a manager available at that time, PERFECT!
This doesn't surprise me at all because as we all know the 'managers' of these teams are spineless cowards who shy away from dealing with real concerns of real people, and they KNOW the scam that they are a part of and facilitating!

I told him there would be a letter detailing the complete farce that is their 'customer services' and 'advice' and one would also be sent to OFGEM which would include the disgustingly astronomical tariffs.

So after all that I thought I'd time how much was being taken when the gas was on. I found out that at 22 degrees centigrade for 30 minutes it took 58pence, that is an unbelievable £1.20 per hour!!!!!! As you can imagine that was the icing on the cake!

I urge everybody to avoid Southern Electric & Gas like the plague, it is disgusting what these companies are doing to our families in the hope lining their already diamond encrusted pockets.
I Shudder to think what would have happened if I hadn't had been there to help my dad, he's a proud man and would have suffered in silence, and quite possibly have been hospitalized, which would have been very serious given his condition.

I would have held that company solely responsible because of their complete lack of any real customer care, ok they might not know of individual case which is fair enough but they DO know that they are draining the elderly, disabled and infirm of all and any savings they might have so the bosses can have a third holiday in the Maldives this year, utterly disgraceful and disgusting.

To give them credit I did get a tweet from S.E. asking me to message the details so it could be looked into but this too little too late in my opinion as I've contacted them many times over different things and could tell that it was just to appease their ridiculous sense of worth to the viewing customers on twitter.

In relation to this EDF have announced they will be dropping gas prices by 5% across the board for all customers http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/813df45a-3c3c-11e1-8d38-00144feabdc0.html#axzz1jBKoJDDl which is brilliant news and I applaud them for it. Lets hope other companies take a leaf out their book and set a new precedent for the real struggling people of the UK.

Yours sincerely
Dan - Manchester

Telephone Ranting 24/11/11 by Phil D

Thank the good Lord there is somewhere I can rant about the EPIC FAIL that is Lloyds TSB Telephone banking and whilst I'm thanking him upstairs, thank you for Internet banking and that I don't have to speak to their call centre and deal with their useless service unless it really is strictly necessary...apologies for the long beef!

So where to start - well, believe it or not, it all started with a Saturday evening visit to the chippy - myself and my good lady wife thought it might's be nice to get a bit of cod and chips, this however meant a visit to my local cashpoint.

Sadly, the cashpoint decided to retain my debit card. The first thing that goes though my head is "cloned card, empty account, must check, so 3G signal for mobile banking, quick call telephone banking just to set my mind at ease".

So, called - it went something like this:

Me - "My cards been retained, I want to check that my card is cancelled and my accounts not being emptied"

LTSB - "No problem, what's you account number and I'll check for you. Yes, I can see your account, now can you tell me you letters 2 and 6 from your telephone banking password?"

Me - "I don't have telephone banking"

LTSB - "You do"

Me - "No I don't - I use internet banking and I'd know if was registered surely? All I want to know is that my debit card is cancelled and that my account is not being emptied"

LTSB - "Well you'll need to answer some security questions as you don't know your password"

Me - (blood beginning to boil) - "Ok, fire away"

LTSB - "You made a card transaction yesterday, how much was it for?"

Me - "about £20"

LTSB - "I need to know exactly"

Me - "I can't remember, about £20 - I can tell you where though"

LTSB - "I need to know the exact amount"

Me (blood boiling) "I don't know - about £20

LTSB - "Ok, I'll put that in - how long have you had you account with us?"

Me - "which one? Personal, Joint? When did I first open an account with Lloyds?"

LTSB - "When did you open you account with us?"

Me - "1978 - it was a Lloyds Young Savers Account, I got a nice green folder and a money box"

LTSB - "You've not answered the questions right, I can't discuss your account with you"

Me (blood now hotter than the sun) - "ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS HAS MY CARD BEEN CANCELLED AND IS MY ACCOUNT OK"

LTSB - "I can't discuss your account with you"

Me - "I want to speak to a manager"

LTSB Manager - "I'm sorry Sir, we can't discuss your account with you because you don't know your telephone banking password and you can't answer the security questions"

Me - "I don't have telephone banking - and its not as if I'm trying to move money to another account, I just want to check that my card is cancelled and my account is not being emptied by a fraudster. You have my mobile number on your systems, why can't you call me back and then you'll know its me!"

LTSB Manager - "This is an inbound call centre and we don't have that information - we would have to access your personnel information to get it and we need permission from you"

Me - "Seriously, you have no outbound phones? What happens if you need to call the fire brigade? Anyway you have my permission, if its not really me, when you call back I'll be really surprised and impressed that you made the call to check that there isn't a scallywag stealing my money won't I?"

LTSB Manager "We can't do that - what you'll need to do is call back in and this will re-set the questions and you can try again"

Me - now on the verge of screaming "Seriously? You have no process for dealing with a simple request to check that my account is not being fraudulently accessed except I call back? And to add insult to injury this is an 0845 so I'm paying for this "

LTSB Manager - "Sorry, there is nothing I can do"

Me - (admitting defeat) - "Fine, I'll call back"

So, on calling back, I got through to a helpful chap, explained 90% of the above and was asked some sensible security questions - 1) Who pays the monthly amount of money in 2) Name one Direct Debit you have - finally, into my own account and confirmed that all along its a fault with the cash point, sorry, account ok, card cancelled and new one on way. Hoorah!!

So then the helpful chap says "Would you like to to register you for Telephone banking, we'll set you up, sent you a temporary password, when you get it, give us a call, change it to something memorable and you won't have this problem in future" - fantastic thinks I - I don't have to call very often, but when I do its usually painful and this could be the anesthetic I'm looking for.....

So today, the letter arrives with the temporary password, saying call as soon as poss and we'll set up something more memorable - I am in raptures of joy thinking the my telephone banking woes are over....until I called back...it went something like this:

Me - "Hi, I've received my temporary secret number for telephone banking and I'm calling as asked to get it changed to something more memorable"

LTSB - " Can you give me the 1st and last numbers" (which I do) "No, they are wrong"

Me - "Hmm, no they're not"

LTSB - "I need the first and last numbers from your 6 digit password"

Me - "Its got 8 numbers"

LTSB - "It can't have, they are only 6 digits long"

Me - "This one isn't, its 8 - you sent it to me"

LTSB - "When did we sent this letter?"

Me - "It arrived today, I'm only registering this due to the problems I had a couple of weeks ago"

LTSB - "Well as you don't know your Telephone Banking password, I'll have to ask you some security questions about your account"

Me (Doing a fine impression of Victor Meldrew) - "I don't believe this, I'm calling about a letter you sent about registering for telephone banking, now your telling me I don't know the password from something I'm not registered for"

LTSB - "I need to ask you some security questions before I can discuss your account"

Me (Now I actually want to cry) "Fine - fire away"

Rather than hurt my fingers re-typing the original conversation, please see above replacing references to "retained/cancelled card" with "Registering for Telephone Banking" - it ends the same way "Can I speak to a manager".

So, I speak to a Manager...

LTSB Manager - "I need to ask you some security questions before I can access your account

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (add expletive of your choice!)

Fortunately I got similar questions to conversation 2 above, at least more reasonable and one's which I have a chance of getting right....

LTSB Manager - "Ok, so you wanted to check your balance?"

Me - "No, I wanted to complete the registration for the telephone banking service that you set up for me and sent me an activation letter for today"

LTSB Manager - "Ok, can you give the first and last digits of your password?"

Me - "you're not going to tell me this is a 6 digit password are you? The one you've sent me is 8 digits long"

LTSB Manager - "that's not right, it should only be 6 - that will be why it won't work"

Me (thinking that Sherlock may have arrived)

LTSB Manager - "I can see what's happened, you're already registered for Telephone Banking and that's why the code we sent you isn't being accepted by our systems"

Me - "No I'm not"

LTSB Manager - "Yes you are"

Me (feeling like I'm in a pantomime) "No I'm not"

LTSB Manger "Yes you are, we changed our process and registered all customers earlier this year"

Me - "Really? Would have been nice to have been told about it and perhaps sent the password"

LTSB Manager - "You would have been"

Me - "well I wasn't"

LTSB Manager - "What I'll do is cancel you're registration and get it set up again for you. Then we'll send you a letter with a temporary password and if you give us a call we'll set up something more memorable for you"

So thanks for Lloyds TSB Telephone Banking, I feel like Bill Murrey in Groundhog Day. Your Telephone Banking Service is an Epic Fail of grotesque proportions made worse by hiding behind "we're doing this to protect you from fraud". I have wasted my life merely trying to confirm that account has not been cloned and emptied and then more time trying to set up a service which they recommended I have to "avoid these problems" in future. In addition, they add insult to injury by charging me to call them!!!! Obviously I can't be called back because they work in a hermetically sealed in-bound call centre with no access to an outside line - seriously, if someone was trying to get into my account and I got a call saying was it me, I would give 10/10 for service, as it goes, I would 'to waste the ink writing a the 0/10 - really, Lloyds TSB - sort yourselves out......

thanks Angry Britain! I feel better for ranting....

Poor Communication from Three UK 31/10/11 via Charlie J

Dear AB

Months of **** service and I finally wrote out a complaint to Three customer service..

Please tell us the details of your complaint

Where to start?

Quite frankly - I wish I never started this contract with three. Unless you can change what you are currently offering me.

1) I am paying far too much for my contract, this would be fine if I was actually getting good service.

2) Your staff are extremely difficult to understand - bad lines and poor English and they are rude and _no this is not racism_ - Your staff do not speak proper understandable English language!

3) Your staff didn't change my address as requested by myself up to around 3 or 4 times which made me unable to pay my phone bill due to this not matching up with my credit card address.

4) I agreed to pay my bill on the 1st as I get paid the day before - after finally being able to pay the bill I was told it was to late, despite me paying this the day before the 1st (31st October) and my bill (which I had to travel to my old address to collect!) states that my bill must be paid by the 8th November.

5) Signal is APPALLING - I sit in central london right now (St. Pauls) and I have no signal! WHY?! I have complained about this several times and I have been told that this will be _resolved_, it hasn't, for months! I haven't had any feed back from it apart from some utterly _useless_ texts saying that a mast is being repaired which is nowhere near the post code of my office. What an utter waste of time.

6) Sending me text messages begging me to reccomend a friend...
REALLY?!
I would never put a 'friend' through the pain I'm going through with this service.

but, the handset is great - which of course you are not responsible for.. Apple are, why not take some inspiration from them, they offer amazing customer support with English support staff!

How would you like us to solve this complaint?

Cancellation of my contract - No, I'm not paying termination fees.

..or, an iPhone 4s, half my bill each month and provide me with better speaking support staff and signal to enable me to actually make a phone call (without hanging out of my bedroom window) and a monthly tin of biscuits delivered to my house (prefereably the one I currently live at, not my address which is 3 [oh, the irony..] houses old)

Seriously though, just give me the service as you sold to me and we can be best of friends again.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Hopefully something will happen around this and I can smile again, I tried very hard not to swear.

Regards,

Charlie

AB says: 'I'm totally with you on this Charlie, I'm also a Three customer and their signal is appalling. I believe it's because unlike other networks, they don't have a 2G network anymore to fall back on when there is no 3G coverage. I struggle to get signal anywhere in my local area (Tunbridge Wells), or in some places that you'd expect there to be coverage, most of London's major Rail Stations - London Bridge and Charing Cross for example. They are truly shocking, and really don't care. Very very poor Three! #FAIL

British Moan Stores 13/9/11 via Natalie P

Dear AB,
 
I attach some emails I have sent and also the replies from BHS customer services. Firstly here is the original message I sent to them via the communication page on their website.

 --Original Message--
From: @hotmail.co.uk
Date: 01/09/2011 23:01:17
To: Customer.Care@bhs.co.uk
Subject: Contact Us Form: Shopping in Store - I wish to make a complaint about store service

Message - To whom it may concern,

Today (1st Sept) my husband and I, along with our 18 month old son, visited your Stockport store. We wanted to go to the homewares dept downstairs and so headed towards the lifts as we had the pushchair with us.
At around 3.10pm we pushed the basement button and the inner doors of the lift failed to close. I tried the door close button and eventually the doors started to close but then got half way across and opened again. We tried again and again but the inner doors just would not close fully. The outer doors also wouldn't open and we were stuck. I rang the emergency alarm but nothing happened. A few minutes later I rang again, still nothing. My husband pushed the alarm for a third time and eventually we heard a voice, all be it a crackly voice asking us to do what we had just done. The voice sounded almost put out that he had to answer us. By this time I was getting extremely hot and anxious trying hard not to lose the plot in a confined space, suspended by a few wires.
Eventually, we heard some banging from outside the lift. It was a few moments before anyone bothered to shout us through the door. All the banging and no comunication did nothing to help with the anxiousness I was feeling at this time and the banging was making my mind play tricks.
A few minutes later after being asked again to try closing the doors from the inside the lift door opened to the rear of us. Again we weren't told this was going to happen and it scared the life out of me.
I was relieved to be able to get out of the lift and into a loading bay, but I'm extremely disappointed that not one member of BHS staff asked if we were OK at any time. We were probably only in the lift for 10-15 minutes but this time seemed like an age and the space got very hot, very quick.
I assume the man that came to get us was a manager as he was in a shirt and tie rather than a BHS uniform. He wasn't wearing a name badge so I'm unable to let you know who he was.
When we got back into the store we still weren't asked if we were OK even though we had a baby with us and I was physically shaken. It seemed to us that we were as good as ushered out of the shop. It wasn't mentioned that we hadn't made it down the stairs to find what we were looking for. No it was just a case of you're out, good bye.
At the time I was just relieved to be out but upon reflection, I am truly disgusted at the level of customer service or care given.
I assume an incident report must have been raised. Our details will no doubt be missing from this.
I look forward to hearing from you with regards to this matter.

Best regards

Natalie P
 
I then recieved the following mis-spelt reply from their customer services two days later,
 

Dear Natalie,

Thank you for your email received 1 September 2011.
I am sorry that you received such poor service when you visited our Stockport store. I am very disappointed to not the comments you have raised. Our staff should have shown more care considering something like that happened. This could have made the difference. I have asked the Store Manager to speak to all member of staff concerned, and take the necessary steps to ensure this does not happen again.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
Regards,


BHS Customer Care

 
Needless to say this got my back up a bit and I replied to it immediately with the following,
 
 
Dear

Thank you for your email, however I do not feel that you have even read my email correctly. I said that it was a store manager that got us out of the lift yet you have asked him to speak to staff involved. Himself?

Also I do not think that a "quick note" filled with typing errors is a satisfactory response from such a large organisation as BHS.

Please send me contact details of the MD at head office please so I can put my complaint direct to them.

Best regards

Natalie P
 
 
I am still waiting for a reply to this yet the very next day I recieved another reply to my original email. In BHS defense it is quite a lot better but still mis-spelt and not answering me correctly. I attach the entire thread below.
 

 Dear

I appreciate your reply to my complaint however I am still deeply disappointed with BHS. I did not write my initial complaint to receive small monetary "reward" off you, I wrote because I wanted something done with regards to the staff member involved.

I mentioned in my email that I believed it to be the store manager that I had the problem with. He was the member off staff who we had any contact with during the incident. I use the term "contact with" loosely as he did nothing to put our minds at ease during the time we were stuck, or afterwards. Your reply tells me that you have asked the store manager to speak to the staff members involved. This suggests to me that you did not read my letter properly.

I do not feel that I have received a professional response from such a large organisation. It is mis-spelt and full of terrible grammar.

Another problem I have is a reply I received to my complaint before this one. I have copy and pasted it below along with my reply, to which, I am still awaiting a response.


"Dear

Thank you for your email, however I do not feel that you have even read my email correctly. I said that it was a store manager that got us out of the lift yet you have asked him to speak to staff involved. Himself?

Also I do not think that a "quick note" filled with typing errors is a satisfactory response from such a large organisation as BHS.

Please send me contact details of the MD at head office please so I can put my complaint direct to them.

Best regards

Natalie P


Date: Mon, 5 Sep 2011 19:49:59 +0000
From: customer.care@bhs.co.uk
To: @hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Contact Us Form: Shopping in Store - I wish to make a complaint about store service [#46481]


Dear Natalie,

Thank you for your email received 1 September 2011.
I am sorry that you received such poor service when you visited our Stockport store. I am very disappointed to not the comments you have raised. Our staff should have shown more care considering something like that happened. This could have made the difference. I have asked the Store Manager to speak to all member of staff concerned, and take the necessary steps to ensure this does not happen again.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
Regards,


BHS Customer Care"

As you can see, this is a wholly unacceptable reply to such a serious complaint. Again it is badly spelt and an insult to the situation we were put in. It only served to make me even more angry and upset at the situation.
If I do not receive a satisfactory reply to this email I will be forced to take the matter further.
I look forward to your speedy response.

Best regards
Natalie P

Date: Tue, 6 Sep 2011 09:50:23 +0000
From: customer.care@bhs.co.uk
To: @hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Contact Us Form: Shopping in Store - I wish to make a complaint about store service [#46499]

REF: 604106

Dear Natalie,

Thank you for your email received 1 September 2011.
I was sorry to learn of the incident and your concerns regarding what happened in our Stockport store.
I was very surprised to note the reaction of our staff member following the what happened in the above store, and I am grateful to have the opportunity of investigating further and I have discussed this with the Store Manager.
We always endeavour to create a safe and pleasant environment for our customers ad I very much regret that this incident may have damaged your confidence in this aim. All our staff are trained in the procedures to follow in such circumstances, and it should have been a matter of simple courtesy to enquire whether you required any further assistance. We do ensure that incidents like these are fully documented and investigated and I apologise this was not the case on this occasion.
I can fully appreciate your disappointment with the service offered to you and would like to assure you details have been passed to our Health and Safety department in accordance with our Business Policy so that they are too aware of the situation. The Store Manager will ensure all staff are addressed and any necessary re-training is undertaken.
I do hope that I have gone some way towards restoring your faith in our commitment to customer service and that this isolated incident will not deter you and your family from shopping with BHS in the future. With this is mind, I have arranged for a £25.00 Gift Card to be sent out to you, which I hope you will accept with my compliments.
Thank you for taking the time to contact us and should you require any further assistance please do not hesitate to reply to this email.

Regards,

BHS Customer Care
 
Sorry I know this is a quite long winded message but hopefully you get the idea.
 
Best regards
 
Natalie P
@NattNatt81

The future's not that bright 11/7/11 via Twitter @joeontour

I make no apology for the length of this, it should serve to illustrate why I am so annoyed with Orange…

Readers, if you ever work somewhere that considers signing their mobile phone business up to Orange Business, do whatever you can to stop the person responsible from signing – kick them, slap them round the face, WHATEVER it takes.

Here is my continuing tale of woe with the single most inept account manager I have ever dealt with.

The company I work for signed up with Orange Business in July 2009 (before I joined the company I hasten to add), signing up 54 connections. In the intervening two years, we have bought out a few of these connections so senior execs who have left the company can keep their number. Also, as our business has expanded, we’ve had to take out more connections, so our current total stands at 107.

Due to a number of issues (one of which nearly became a Beef!, but was eventually resolved after 5 (FIVE!) months) we have taken the decision to leave Orange, fully aware that we will have to buy out the contracts of the connections that are still in contract after the initial batch on the original contract expire at the end of the month.

This is where the ‘fun’ begins

In February, we notified Orange of our intention to leave them at the expiry of our contract and asked them for the expiry dates of every connection on our contract. They provided a spreadsheet with all our numbers, , with 40 numbers due to expire at the end of July, the remainder staggered over the next 20 months depending on when we took the connection out.

So far so good, we then asked Orange for a cost to buy out those connections that were still in contract at the end of July, and were consequently sent a quote of just under £25k, with a breakdown that detailed only 12 connections expiring at the end of the initial contract. Knowing that couldn’t be right, we asked them to explain the difference between the two spreadsheets they provided.

Despite numerous chasings, we heard nothing for three months.

I took over the issue at the beginning of last month and referred the matter to our legal department, who found a clause in the contract detailing our right to call in Orange senior management for consultation to resolve this dispute. Not thirty seconds after I sent the mail detailing our issue and invoking this clause, did I have our account manager, who for the purposes of this Beef! I’m going to call Spanner, on the phone. The conversation went thus:

Spanner: “Hi, Spanner here. I’ve just read your email and I have to be honest I’m not really sure what you’re talking about”
Me (having been advised that this bloke is an idiot): *sigh* *Explains everything that has happened thus far, referencing the emails HE had sent us, and the contradictions they contained, re-iterating that we want to leave Orange at the end of July*
Spanner: “Oh, right. Give me a day to check those differences out and I’ll get back to you”

A week passes

A further week passes. I send the following email:

Hi Spanner,

It’s been a further week and still nothing. Our main contract is now in the period where we can give notice so I need the buyout cost of the remaining phones ASAP.

Please chase whoever you need to chase to get this done.

Regards,

Two days later, I receive the following

Hi XXX,

Sorry this has taken so long to get back please accept my sincere apologies it was beyond my control.

Best Regards Spanner

With an attachment that still only shows 12 phones going out of contract. I reply thus:

Hi Spanner,

This is still wrong and contradicts the information you provided before (which I have attached here) – that shows that we have 40 handsets out of contract by the end of July, yet the info included in the mail today says that only 12 are out of contract then. This we know is incorrect.

Who do I need to speak to about this? We’re going round in circles here, and we will not be paying to disconnect phones that are already out of contract.

Regards,

Four days later I receive:

See below,

Hopefully this explains the reasons for the discrepancies.

Best Regards Spanner.


Good morning

I am confused as to the request.

The calculations made in March were projected and could not be used to as valid fees (due any changes to the account since).

The termination fees were calculated based against the Agreements. And to the best of my knowledge are correct.

If the Customer is referring to the looking glass report for accuracy, then this can not be guaranteed. The termination fees were calculated by reviewing each MSISDN, whereas Looking Glass may not be accurate as it takes the information from the top level, and this may be amended. It also does not restart the Blackberry Term as this is taken when the BB product is applied, not when the handset was connected.

I hope this clarifies the matter.


Kind regards

Nothing there explains why there is a huge discrepancy between the two sets of data Orange themselves provided, so again I reply back:

Hi Spanner,

No, it does not explain the discrepancies I’m afraid – we know how many phones are going out of contract at the end of this month – it’s 40, not 12.

As I said before, we are not paying to disconnect phones which we know are going out of contract. I would like to arrange a meeting with someone there, whether it be in this office or by phone where we go through each MSISDN and review its status. This needs to happen ASAP, so please arrange for as soon as you can

Regards,

The next day I receive another revised spreadsheet, except the figure hasn’t changed (so who knows what the revision was…). Being utterly fed up with this now, the following is sent, copying his boss:

Hi Spanner,

I am growing tired of going round in circles on this.

The most recent data you have provided states there will be 12 phones going out of contract at the end of this month. That, as I have repeatedly stated, is incorrect and contradicts the data you sent us previously whereby we have 40 phones going out of contract then. This further contradicts our original re-signing with you, whereby we re-signed with 54 connections – a copy of this contract is attached.

I have previously requested a meeting, either here or via the phone, to explain the differences between all of these figures – if we re-signed with 54 connections two years ago, we should have roughly that figure going out of contract now (minus the ones we have already paid to transfer out) – yet this has not happened and all I receive is further emails containing figures you know I will reject for the same reasons we have been saying for five months.

I also informed you that under clause 44.18 of our contract, we wish to invoke the right to consultation with Orange senior management to resolve this. Again, this has not happened.

So I ask again, please arrange for me to speak to whoever I need to resolve this issue.

Regards,

And got the following response the same day, and a voicemail left detailing the same

Hi XXX you and me alike,

Senior managers have been assisting with this as well as the appropriate people in finance and contract set up.

In response to your comment, “54 connections two years ago, we should have roughly that figure going out of contract now (minus the ones we have already paid to transfer out)”

Yes! This is correct, if you had not been adding devices over this contract time, but you have and these figures reflect this.

When it comes to terminating contracts or resigning we calculate the total amount of devices you have and contract dates they end on.

Can we arrange a call for the 7th please to discuss this.

Best Regards Spanner.

So now Orange are suddenly claiming that adding new connections, which each time has its own two year term, now increases the term on the existing handsets (!?!?). There is nothing in the contract that stipulates that (and nor would you expect there to be), so the following is sent to Spanner and his boss (who he had omitted from his reply)

Hi Spanner,

As per the voicemail I’ve left, I’m fine with a conference call tomorrow any time except 4pm.

I would be very interested to hear how adding new connections to our account can affect the expiry dates of the existing connections – whenever we take out a new one that expires two years after its connection date, why would that impact on a device taken out in the initial resigning?

Regards,

Spanner comes back with:

Hi XXX,

It seems like we have had crossed lines, what we thought was that you required termination figures for the account to either end or to resign the whole account.

I think what you are asking is that you require the figures for the 54 only that you signed for on your OBSC, and to let the others run on ???

So to either terminate or resign the 54 at the end of July.

Best Regards Spanner

Having never deviated from wanting to terminate our account, the following is sent so Spanner knows exactly what we’ve been looking for over the last five months

Hi Spanner,

We want to terminate our whole agreement once the initial 54 we signed expire at the end of July, get PAC codes for every connection etc. However, as we have 107 connections with you in total, surely we should only be paying the remainder to disconnect the phones that were taken out after those on the initial agreement?

Regards,

I then receive the single most astounding mail I have ever received

Hi XXX,

Sorry to hear you wish to leave Orange, What would be the reasons for this please.

Are we not able to pitch for the resign?

Spanner

Having sat open mouthed, staring at my screen for some time, I compose myself and fire off the following

We have been very disappointed with Orange’s performance, both in terms of network and of customer service.

<A colleague> invited you to pitch for the resign, but you told him you were working on some other pitches.

We have no problem paying to terminate the connections that are still in contract after our current agreement expires, that is the figure I’m trying to get from you

Regards,

To which spanner very quickly replies with

Hi XXX,

Thank you feedback.

The figures you have had today then would be the correct ones to terminate the whole account at the end of July.

Spanner

At this point I went for a walk before I burst a blood vessel. Upon my return the following was sent to Spanner

Spanner,

Please arrange the conference call for tomorrow.

I want an explanation as to why, when 54 of our 107 connections are due to expire at the end of this month, Orange say we’ve got 12 out of contract and expect us to pay £25k to terminate the rest.

Yes, we have added additional connections since signing that agreement, but that should have no bearing on the existing ones – as I say, we have always been advised that each new connection has their own two year term.

Regards,

That was on Wednesday of last week. I received another mail on Thursday asking to reschedule the call for Friday which I agreed to, and then heard nothing on Friday itself.

This morning I asked for an update, and Spanner called me. The conversation went so:

Spanner: “Hi XXX, it’s Spanner, how are you today?”
Me: “I’m fine thank you, a little annoyed you didn’t get in touch on Friday though, even if just to say you couldn’t do the call”
Spanner: “I actually called you twice on Friday but got bounced each time”
Me: “You didn’t call, I had no missed calls, and besides you could have left me a voicemail”
Spanner: ”I don’t like to leave voicemails”
Me: “You left me one on Thursday to arrange the call, so you do leave them”
Spanner: “Right, yeah. Anyway, we’ve got our contracts manager here today, she’s come down from Doncaster and is looking through this now, we’ll have an answer for you in 20 minutes”

That was an hour ago.

Remember kids: Orange, just say no

News of the World 7/7/11 via Twitter @nicklarner

Yes, it is an engulfing wave of revulsion that plainly condemns hacking the phones of ordinary victims of any atrocity. We do understand that life is not always black & white, that grey is sometimes the only way, because we employ this in our own lives daily to cut a corner or just to feel we’re beating the game somehow. And we accept that journalists do this regularly, to provide us with a little titillation that sells your newspapers. But also to represent us in grey or black, when needed, against the idiots that cannot manage their own edicts or those that squeeze us for every last ounce of our ability to view life in mostly white. Yes, you are in the black book today, because you have let your constituents down. The very arrogance that News Corp has portrayed in thinking this was acceptable, the ignorance that allows the Met Police to engage in recalcitrance in dealing with the matter, and the further incompetence of government in Britain – these are failings on your watch. Now go get ‘em. #hacking #notw

No reason to celebrate 27/4/11 via Twitter @WakeHurst12

Daughters Christening coming up, wife is in Sainsburys and sees a Champagne on half price offer. Buys a bottle, we try it. It’s great. Not worth the £33/bottle but £16 is great.

Rather than drive the 17 miles back to the store we go online. First piece of ridiculousness: You cannot find it in their ‘off licence’. Put the name into Google and MySupermarket Wine came up with it at... Sainsburys.co.uk. Go back to Sainsburys.co.uk and putting the exact way that MSWine had it listed it came up. Funny I thought. Ordered 3 cases. Took my credit card details, confirmed order. One thing off the list of things to do.

Delivery last night: ‘we only supplied 8 bottles of the 36 you wanted’. Please call customer services to order the remainder. He pointed out that the T’s and C’s online state certain quantities.
Called customer services – spoke to Mark: You can only order 12 bottles online, it’s policy.

Me>Ok so why were 8 bottles delivered?
Sains>What order are you talking about?
Me>Of the 36 Sainsubyrs deliverd 8. If 12 is max why not deliver 12?
Sains>I don’t know Sir, maybe the manager thought 8 was enough?
Sains>Also it does not look like you use .co.uk a lot.
Me> What so if i did you would?
(silence)
Me>For what it is worth, we don’t use .co.uk because it is slow, very badly laid out and clearly lacking function. We do shop instore and at this moment Morrisions, next door is looking good...


Mark keeps saying its 12 but clearly it says ‘may be limited’?
Anyway he can help me by ordering the balance. Delivery will be 13th May. Oh but it goes off offer on the 10th so you will have to pay full price.
What?

Sains> Yes if we can’t deliver before the offer finished we cannot sell you that offer.
Checked .co.uk again and I could secure a number of delivery slots up to and including the 10th.
Sains>‘Ah, yes but we need time to pack up 28 bottles’
How many days does it take?
No answer....
Finally Customer Services Mark says ‘there is nothing I can do to resolve this’
So I call Head office in Holborn. I speak to Nicola.

Oh I am sorry but our T’s and C’s state.... no I said... yes she said... point 4 in a separate section Online Grocery T’s and C’s...!

4. Ordering of multiple or bulky grocery items
4.1 Orders for more than 12 units of a single product line may be fulfilled subject to availability and at the discretion of the store. Quantities of goods supplied per order may be limited if the order limits availability for other customers or creates a potential health and safety issue for our drivers. To ensure we have the greatest opportunity of fulfilling larger orders, please give us at least 7 days notice of your request via our Customer Care Team on 0800 328 1700.
4.2 Due to concerns regarding the heath and safety of our delivery drivers, we reserve the right to limit orders of certain bulky items, such as bottled water. For examples of the product categories included and their limits, please see our ‘Help’ section for more details.

Stupid me – I looked in only one place...
‘There is nothing I can do, sorry’

Wife goes back into store, there are still 500million bottles on the shelf.
I take it this is being sold as a loss leader and Sainsbury’s do not want me to order this.

So we have driven and bought it.

1. Why does the site allow me to put any number above 12 in the cart – a simple bit of code can be added to bring a box up to say 12 max?
2. The letter I was given said call this number and place you order.
3. Why does it take a week to pack 28 bottles?
4. No one in customer services cared we spend £150 a month with this shower of uselessness
5. This has to be a loss leader as it’s so buried it’s like find the needle and they were so desperate not to sell it to me.

Anyway, please come back to me with q’s and love the site – wish I had moved my S*** Service in the UK blog on when I started it in 2001!!!!

Breakdown in Communications 27/4/11 via Twitter @GreenMousey

After shopping on Saturday, 23rd April, we returned to the car that was left in the car park. Started the engine fine and proceeded to reverse out of the spot to find that I didn't have enough power. Thought that my shoes meant I wasn't pushing the accelorator enough but the car was juddering and something clearly wasn't right.
We decided (My husband & I) to go half way home and stop at his parent's house, I'll freely admit other than how to change bulbs, put petrol in and fill up my screen wash, I've no idea about cars. Hubby isn't too up on them either due to the fact he's a biker & hasn't ever had an interest...but I digress.

Carried on driving and noticed the engine light on my dashboard flashing at me so we pulled over to see if there was anything obviously wrong. Hubby checked under the bonnet, the exhaust & everything seemed to be ok bar a lack of power. We continued on to his parent's house, who weren't in, so I rang my breakdown cover company Equity Redstar.
The lady answered the phone, I explained the problem and her response really did take my breath away.
Lady: "Well there is no point sending out a mechanic as it will have to be plugged into a garage computer but we can tow you back home."
Me: "Well we don't require it to be moved as I've got it to my in-laws house and there will be no garages open this weekend"
Lady: "well there is nothing we can do for you"
Me: "You're a breakdown service and there is nothing you can do for my broken down car?"
Lady: "Well I've offered you recovery of your vehicle but in my experience there is no point sending out a mechanic as they won't help you."
I then asked her to hold while I explained the conversation to my husband. He insisted that they send someone out. I must admit I was rather shaken by this point. She didn't know, before I spoke to my husband, that that was who I was with, I could have been on my own or with a child. Thank goodness I listened to my husband and therefore I asked for a mechanic to be sent out, at which point she huffed and was clearly unhappy and the call ended.

Within the hour a local mechanic turned up and I can't recommend him enough, he was a genuinely nice man, fixed the problem within 10 seconds & even had a computer to reset my car, so within 5 minutes the car was fixed with no issues and no additional costs. Had I listened to the lady on the phone I would have had to wait until after the Easter weekend (Without transport) then pay a garage to plug in the computer and fix the issue.
I thanked the mechanic who was more than happy he could fix my car so easily and drove off.

Once I was safetly home and calmed down I rang the breakdown line to ask for the address to send a complaint to, I happened to get the same lady answer the phone. I merely asked for the complaints address, which she readily answered with (She wasn't aware who I was) she then proceeded to ask me whether I'd rung the right number to make a complaint and when I replied I had she proceeded to ask what the complaint was regarding. Getting really fed up at this point I went into the spiel as above and she interupted me three sentences in to ask "So, it's about a breakdown then?" I replied yes and she said that was the right address and hung up on me!

I'm going to write a letter of complaint as this lady, who clearly doesn't work in customer services, thought her experience was enough for me not to get my car fixed under the policy I have, could have cost me a lot of money I didn't need to spend and was so rude and abrupt which is not helpful when you're stranded and ring that line for help. I think there is a reason she's the one on the end of the telephone and not a mechanic coming out to help.

Thanks AngryBritain :)

ParcelFarce 6/4/3/11 - via Anon

I was excited, I have to admit.  I know I’m a bit sad but I was looking forward to the delivery of my new mobile phone.  It is a thing of joy and does all sorts of weird and wonderful things.

But of course I had not allowed for the nasty monster that is Parcelforce which was determined to spoil my pleasure.

It was impossible for someone to be in all day and I missed the delivery (unfortunate but these things happen).  Quite reasonably the driver dropped a card through my door but this is where the reasonableness ended.

With other carriers I have always been able to decide how I wish the item to be re-delivered – but that’s too simple for Parcelforce.  They decided to deliver it to a Post Office for me to collect.  My local post office is 0.1m from my home (according to Google Maps), so what am I moaning about you might well ask?  Simply that they didn’t decide to deliver to my local post office.  Instead they randomly chose one which is 1.25 miles away and in an area I never visit.  This was done for my convenience?  So I ended up walking 2.5 miles and spending an hour to retrieve an item that in Parcelforce’s opinion had been properly delivered.  What if I was elderly or had mobility issues?  In fact just the sort of person for whom home delivery would be perfect.

Their policy according to an email from them is that “Parcelforce Worldwide delivery drivers can deliver to a Post Office on their delivery route for that day” – so possibly nowhere near where you live and nowhere that is easy and convenient.  They didn’t even give me the chance to ask for the item to be redelivered.

Their view is that when delivering to a random Post Office “The Customer agrees that such delivery shall constitute delivery to the address specified as the delivery address on the Consignment.”

With the number of Post Offices dwindling presumably these could get further and further away from your home.

Why they think this is an acceptable way to run a company is beyond me.  It’s a bit like ordering groceries from a supermarket, them delivering to a store nowhere near you, and then saying it’s at store X so in our view we’ve delivered it to your home.

I for one will certainly be avoiding companies that use Parcelforce as their carrier.

from an increasingly Grumpy Old Man

Dear XXXXX

Thank you for your email

Parcelforce Worldwide undertakes to deliver to the address specified on the Consignment not to a Recipient. In respect of UK deliveries, if there is no-one at the address then Parcelforce Worldwide may at its discretion attempt to deliver the Consignment to an alternative address being either a neighbouring address or a local Post Office branch, where it can be collected during the next 16 days and if the Consignment is delivered to an alternative address, a Customer Contact Card will be left at the specified address which has been completed with sufficient details to enable the Recipient to recover the Consignment

The Customer agrees that such delivery shall constitute delivery to the address specified as the delivery address on the Consignment

This is not an error on Parcelforce Worldwides part. Parcelforce Worldwide delivery drivers can deliver to a Post Office on their delivery route for that day. Some Post Office do not accept Parcelforce parcels either this may be the case if not it is still acceptable for the delivery driver to deliver to a different Post Office

I would advise for you to contact your local delivery depot, as you can request if possible that your parcels be delivered to your local Post Office. The contact number for the London North West Delivery depot is:

0844 209 XXX

Again thank you for your email and my apologies once more for any inconvenience this matter has caused

If you require any further assistance please do not hesitate to contact us again at this email address: parcelforce@parcelforce.co.uk

Our hours of business are: Mon to Fri: 8am to 7pm, Sat: 8.30am to 5.30pm and Sun:  9am to 5pm.

Kind regards

Parcelforce Worldwide

Customer Service Email team

This Email and any attachments are confidential and intended for the addressee only.  If you are not the named recipient, you must not use, disclose, reproduce or distribute the contents of this communication.  If you have received this email in error, please contact the sender and delete this email from your system

Parcelforce Worldwide is a trading name for Royal Mail Group plc.

Registered in England and Wales, Registered Number: 4138203. Registered office at 100 Victoria Embankment, London, EC4Y0H

 

Royal #FAIL 29/3/11 - Caz C via Email

My beef is with Royal Mail.

I posted a parcel using 1st class recorded delivery on 15/02/11.

Yesterday 08/03/11 I used the R/M website to track the parcel and it said 'is being progressed through our network for delivery.'

I rang the R/M helpline and asked where my parcel was. I was told the parcel must be missing as they have no idea where it is.

I explained I had sent it recorded delivery purposely so it couldn't 'go missing' without a signature.

To which I was told there is no difference between recorded delivery and 1st or 2nd class post. I will have to get a claim form and go through the process of claiming from them, (the exact same processl as 1st/2nd class post)

I am paying extra money to record the parcel, but now realize it's pointless to pay the extra.

It appears they are charging us for a better service, But really it's exactly the same as 1st/2nd class post just more expensive,

People need to know it's a rip off.

Cheap Bike - And no, not Katie Price 12/3/11

I bought my son a cheap bike at Halfords in May last year – the idea was that he wanted something that would not be an instant ‘thief-target’.
I bought a really cheap new bike which had been further discounted in the sale to just £79.99 – pretty good I thought – it just needed to last for th year of its warranty to serve its purpose. When we got it back it was clear that the components really were cheap, the seat for example didn’t stay locked and various bits were really thin and cheap looking, but hey … it was only £79.99 and it had a years’ s warranty … except that.. it didn’t so we found.

My son used the bike literally to go to and from school…barely any distance at all and really basic low stress riding – about 5 miles a week if that.

After 8 months there was a problem and I took it to Halfords – they said to my wife that it would need fixing and that the labour would have to be charged at £17 and that it would take two weeks, they said that if there were any further problems they would call. I wasn’t happy but decided to simply accept the situation.three weeks later having heard nothing, my wife went in to collect the bike – absolutely nothing had been done to it. My son needed a bike to get to school so we were a bit upset that we had to wait even longer.
I went in the next day was given a big apology and assured that the bike would be ready by the end of the day and that there would be no charge.
The next day I came collect and was told that the bike hadn’t been fixed because it needed a new gear change mechanism and that the part would not be covered under warranty – by this time I had had enough. A very objectionable mechanic told me that in his opinion the bike had not been looked after and that he would personally insist that the part was not covered. The bike has been at Halfords for a further two weeks pending a response from HQ customer services – in letter received yesterday they flatly refuse to fix the bike under warranty and have suggested that if the bike is not collected – I will incur storage charges – thanks Halfords !

That’s the last bike you’ll ever sell me and what the hell happened to the statutory one year warranty.

Submit your own Beef by simply emailing angryman@angrybritain.com subject 'Beef' or Tweet it @AngryBritain starting your Tweet with 'Beef'.

 

Would the last person in MySpace please turn off the lights? - 7/3/11 - Mike F via email

It's not often that Myspace friend requests make me laugh, cry or even gasp with shock, especially as Myspace now resembles a derelict building full of spammers and teen-bothering nonces. The last friend request to genuinely disturb me was this guy who added me as a friend, and when I accepted, chose to add to the comments section of my page video clips of himself...shall we say...manipulating his genitals with a view to achieving orgasm? Since then I've had to screen all incoming comments and approve them on arrival, like a sort of Passport Control for a soon to be abandoned country.

Yesterday I received yet another invite from some random band asking to be friends on Myspace, and as Myspace now allows the sender to add a line of dialogue to their friend request, the band sent me this as their opening gambit:

"Hi Mike, we are (band name witheld) and we'd like you to be our friend on here and check out our music. We're very much along the same lines as Coldplay and Snow Patrol, hope you enjoy our page".

I thought to myself Yes! This band sounds right up my alley! I'm just the sort of person a Coldplay/Snow Patrol type of band is aimed at:

I'm early to mid thirties.
I wear combat trousers at the weekend 'cause it makes a change from the suit.
I bought the last Now! album, and The Best Of David "Wobbly-Head" Gray for the girlfriend.
I lap up bland-as-chalk-dust crap on the telly like My Family, Casualty and Outnumbered.
My favourite comedian is Lee Evans (God he really is the new Norman Wisdom isn't he?).
I drive a Mondeo bought on hire purchase but have aspirations of owning a ******* jeep.
I frequent sports bars that show cricket and rugby at deafening levels, I love to hear Freddie Flintoff's droning tones at +90dB

Needless to say I immediately approved this band's request and placed them at the top of my friends list for all to see. But it's irrelevant where I placed this fine example of middle-class coffee-table alt-rock ********, because by the look of things Myspace has literally just a few months left to run.

Do It Yourself - B&Q #FAIL - 4/3/11 - Hannah S via email

Dear Mr

I am writing to you to bring your attention to the issues we've encountered during the installation of our new kitchen.

We ordered the kitchen in July 2010, and after 2 surveys, the installation was arranged to start on 25th October, and was due to be completed in 7 days. At the time of the installation, the only issue was that the kitchen had to be re-wired, rather than just the original new sockets installed. This should have put the completion date back by 1 day. The kitchen was eventually completed some 3 and a half weeks after the installation was started. Your fitter was given a key to let himself in, but my husband had already taken 7 days holiday, and then had to take a further 3 days sick, for which he was unpaid, to make sure that access to the house was available. On 2 of the extra days, your fitter did not turn up as arranged, due to his having other jobs to go to.

Following the completion of the installation, part of the floor started to lift, and it became apparent that the floor was not level when we put up a Christmas tree that "wobbled" when anyone just walked past it. It was also noticed that cupboard doors were not level, and that the cooker hood was not flush against the wall as designed, but that a large gap had been left.

***** ****** came out to us in between Christmas and New Year, and agreed the works that needed to be done to rectify the situation.
These were;
Replace floor and skirting board
Level all drawers and cupboard doors
Build up wall at side of cooker hood to remove gap
Replace the cooker hood, which had been dented during the forceful original installation
Remove rubbish from side of house that had not been taken away.

These remedial works were to take 3 days and were to be started on January 21st. This date was agreed as my husband had already booked time off work to have a minor operation. We are now at the 26th January, and we are still not close to having a perfect, completed kitchen.

I have attached photographs, taken this evening, to show you in detail the problems still outstanding;
1) The plinths now do not fit under the cupboards, due to the floor being levelled.
2) Two of your fitters have been to fit the new skirting, but have left without doing anything as they did not have the correct tools to cut the board.
3) Paintwork in the kitchen and dining room has been damaged by the removal of the original skirting, which needs to be sanded down and re-painted.
4) There is plaster on the cooker splashback, the oven doors and cooker hob, and on the kitchen ceiling, as well as dirt, which will also now need to be re-painted.
5) My fridge has been left in the dining room, along with the washing machine, which has not been plumbed back in.
6) A large amount of dust and remnants of flooring has been left on worktops, on the top of the washing machine, and under the larder cupboard (to level it - the floor has been levelled?). The box for the new cooker hood has been left in the dining room.
7) Due to the floor being levelled and new laminate flooring being laid, the cooker is now not level.
8) You will see a picture of my dining room furniture being stored in an upstairs bedroom - this room is used by my step-daughters when they come to stay - they are due here on Friday - at present I don't know how I can arrange things so that they have somewhere to sleep.
9) No mention has been made as to when the rubbish at the side of the house will be removed.

***** ***** came out to the house today, and was himself not happy with the state of the works. He took photos which I'm sure you will have access to.

My husband has spent a lot of time and obviously at cost to us on the phone to ******* ****, and her line manager *****, trying to get information as to when these works will be completed. We are due to have the washing machine plumbed back in tomorrow evening, but as to when the skirting and plinths will be put right, we have no idea. ****** was due to contact us by the end of business today. Unfortunately, and what has come to light as being the norm with our contact, no call was received. There is also the issue of putting paintwork right, which cannot be done by merely 'patching', and obviously all the skirting needs to be painted.

I have merely outlined the situation in this e-mail. I would be happy for you to visit us to inspect the work of your fitters for yourself. We chose to come to B&Q because of your reputation, and chose to have the installation done by yourselves, rather than our own fitter, (which would have been cheaper), because we trusted you to be able to arrange all aspects of the job. It would appear we were mistaken in this choice.

I would ask that you take a personal interest in the completion of the works, which now have to be done at weekends, as we are unable to take any further holiday from work at present. We are also looking for substantial compensation, particularly as we have paid a large amount for the installation of the kitchen, (£6,580) and this installation is not complete. Why have we paid so much for your company representatives (even sub-contractors represent B&Q) to do a job that is incompetent, and incomplete? It would appear you have not delivered on your side of the contract we have entered into. We paid a large deposit for the kitchen, and, as we were aware, started our monthly payments before the kitchen was started. Why are we now paying for a kitchen that isn't finished 3 months after it was started?

To this end, I look forward to hearing from you in the very near future.

Yours sincerely

 

Sunday Trading - 24/2/11 - @Sifu33 via Twitter

Good to finally email rather than twitter, love the banter and rants. Keep up the good work.

What the hell is it with sunday trading, you can open a store to look round but not buy, why the hell dont you make that clear before you let people in the store, who then get bloody frustrated when they cant buy what they want.

The sunday trading laws were put in place, i believe about 1950BC to protect people from employers taking advantage.

Well guess what, employees are on to a pretty good thing these days, and also men and women are working harder thro the bloody week, which means the only days we have to shop are at the weekends, when you deem it necessary to impose shopping restrictions. Surely people want to work and employers want to sell, and IM damn sure people want to buy, so what in gods name is stopping the shops from opening but some archaic law. Cobblers, thats what I say.

And I also feel the pain of that poor bloke who tried to get a phone thro 3, I was that person a few years ago, I had so much trouble with a call centre that I couldnt even understand the language, I demanded that they only communicate thro written enquiries, the idiots then proceeded to email me, asking me to ring them so they could sort the problem out. #fail. I did however end up getting a good deal because I was adamant that I was leaving and wanted my PAC code. SO I suggest having a firm conviction and demanding the PAC code will get you a good deal, if you can only put up with their incompetence.

Driving me nuts - 1/3/11 - @chaosgerbil via Twitter

Some minor observations and helpful hints from my time spent driving around the roads of the U.K.

Being fat, lazy, stupid or just plain ignorant is not a recognised disability, however these aspects may affect your day to day life trust me, parking in a disabled space you are not entitled to makes the life of the person who needs the space even worse. There is no ‘I’ll only be a minute’ or ‘I’m in a rush’ excuse that makes it acceptable to steal a disabled space. Use the legs you are lucky enough to have and walk the extra 50 metres.

Equally using parent and child spaces is not acceptable either, having a child seat in the back of the car without a child on board does not count either.

The general public has become very selfish and ignorant of late, with no care or concern for anyone else around them, this can be seen in many aspects of motoring and life in general.

Bus lanes are not always in operation 24 hours a day, please look at the sign and check times before deciding to just pull out at the start of the lane, especially when driving slower than the traffic around you. Bus lanes in Manchester are usually 7-10am and 4-7pm but at any time of the day some myopic idiot will change lanes with no indication causing the drivers behind to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident.

Some drivers do choose to break the speed limit, even if only by a couple of miles an hour. You driving at two miles an hour below the speed limit in the outside lane because you are turning right three miles down the road does not endear you to other motorists.

In a similar vain, if you are uncomfortable at high speed and feel that fifty or sixty miles an hour on the motorway is a heady enough speed for you then please stay out of the middle or even outside lanes and show consideration for those of us that use the motorway to make our journeys quicker and easier.

Boy racers, oh where to begin on eighteen year olds with baseball caps back to front, music blaring from cheap stereos, revving the guts out of their mothers ten year old Citreon Saxo?

It is only a ‘race’ if the other driver is aware of it being a race, you did not smoke that Porsche off the lights, he just couldn’t be arsed wasting the petrol on you. Dodging in and out of traffic to gain one place in the queue does not make you Jenson Button and when the older person sees you trying to do it and positions himself so you get stuck behind the school bus accept it as a lesson in life and driving skills.

Yes I drive a family car because I have a family but being over forty does not mean I have lost all my faculties and cannot drive properly any more, sit on my back bumper and I will slow down, try to undertake me and I will match speed with you so that you end up stuck behind that bus and do something silly and I will prove that my car can accelerate at least as quickly as yours. The road is not yours, you do not know everything and the real road is in no way similar to the computer games you are more used to playing.

Cyclists, you pay nothing towards the upkeep of the roads, flout the highway code and have no insurance. Please stop blaming the car driver for everything that happens to you. Look before you pull out, use your arms to indicate what you wish to do and make sure you obey traffic lights etc.

Well I think I’ve managed to upset just about anyone who has ever used the roads in this country but to be fair the attitude endemic in this country today extends far beyond road users. The vast majority of people see no further than the end of their nose, have no respect for those around them and want everything handed to them on a plate.

Please feel free to comment and tell me I am wrong about any of the above points but don’t be offended when I either ignore your comment or tell you to go forth with jerky movements.

 

iFAIL Three Mobile - 2/82/11 - @samstreet69 via Twitter

Ordered a spanking new iPhone 4 last Wednesday, Three allowed us to select our delivery date ... Oooh they deliver Saturday we’ll have it then seeing as though we’re at home with not much on.

Saturday, waiting ..... Waiting .... WAITING!!

Wait... Where’s the phone it’s 5pm and Royal Mail really won’t be making any deliveries now .... Disappointment raineth down upon Our House

Sunday Afternoon ... Telephone call.... >Kzzzrtkkkkkkkkkkkkksssssshhh< “Hello is that Miss S, could you confirm your address and date of birth?”

Me: “Yeeeeessss. Who is this?”

Him “This is Kashir from Kzzzzrrrtkkkssshh mobile, can you confirm your address and date of birth?”

Me “What is this about please??”

Him “I need you address and date of birth, we cannot continue this call with out it”

Me “Well hold on, you’re calling me ... I don’t know who you are and you’re asking for my private information”

Him “You have ordered iPhone 4 from us, I am needing three months worth of your bank statements to prove who you are.....”

Me “Ahh right.... Wait....What??”

Him “I am needing three month, bank statements.....”

Me “Yes I heard that...Why do you need them?”

Him “To prove who you are...”

Me “Yes, but why do you need proof we already have an account with you for a 3G dataplan?”

Him “Oh!”

<Pause>

Him “This application is in different name ... We are checking for fraud, credit department have asked for three months of bank statements”

Me “Well, I’m not sending them to you ... Have you any idea how insecure that would be?”

Him “Credit Control are needing them Miss”

Me “RIGHT. Put me through to Credit Control and I will speak to them”

>Kzzzzrhhhht ...click<

Olly Murs... You ******, you’ve put me through to Olly Murs!!

>Click<

Credit Control “Hello Miss, we are needing proof of who you are”

Me “Yes but why?”

Credit Control “Because we have two names on the same bank account details”

Me “That will be because it’s a JOINT BANK ACCOUNT!! We have put The full name of the account in both applications you should have the names RJC & SJS on the application is that correct??”

Credit Control “Yes”

Me: “So those names correlate to the account for 3G data in the name of RJC and the application for iPhone in the name of SJS??”

Credit Control “Yes”

Me “So what’s the problem?”

Credit Control “there is no problem Miss”

Me “So why did “Kashir” call me asking for three months worth of bank statements??”

Credit Control “He DID??”

Me “Yes”

Credit Control “You should NEVER give your bank statements out to people”

Me “No Shit... So is there a problem with delivering my iPhone??”

Credit Control “No Miss, I have released your order now, I will put you through to the despatch team for delivery details”

Me “Thank you”

>Ksshhhhzzzzrt Click<

Oh you UTTER ********, now you’ve put me through to Mark Knopfler....

>Click<

Me “Hi, is that the despatch team I’d like to find out when you’re going to deliver my iPhone reference xxxxxx that should have been with me yesterday?”

Despatch “We can’t deliver your phone until we’ve had one of your bank statements from the last three months”

Me “What ... The bloke from Credit Control just told me that he’s released the order and there’s no NEED for ANY bank statements?”

Despatch “Well Credit Control are nothing to do with us, WE need a bank statement from the last three months”

Me “Oh For Goodness Sake!!! Right if I scan the header on a statement and email it over to you will that do?”

Despatch “Yes”

Me “OK what email address??”

Despatch “dsl@phones4u.co.uk......”

Me “Woooooooah Nelly!, Phones4u?? I’ve not bought this through phones4u I’ve ordered this directly online from the three store”

Despatch “well we do some of the work for Three and I’ve been told we need bank statements before I can deliver your phone”

Me “Right, I’ve had enough of this I’m gonna cancel and get the phone elsewhere”

Despatch “Well you can’t do that through us you’ll have to ring customer services.. The number is XXXXX XXXXXX”

**sigh**

>Dials<

“Welcome to Three... Did you know we've been rated Number 1 for iPhone by an independent Yougov survey....

“Please choose one of the following options”
“If you’re considering buying from us press ONE for all other customer services enquiries press TWO”

>presses two<

“If your enquiry is regarding the number you are calling from, press ONE. If you are calling about another number press TWO. If you’re considering buying a new phone or iPad press THREE”

Hmmm, I don’t have a number yet. And I’m already buying a new phone from you ... Must be option TWO

>presses two<

“Please enter the telephone you are calling about... The number should begin 07”

But I don’t have a number yet!

“I’m sorry we didn’t get your number. Please enter the telephone you are calling about... The number should begin 07.”

>presses zero in the hope this puts me through to a human<

“I’m sorry we didn’t get your number. Please enter the telephone you are calling about... The number should begin 07.”

>hangs up<

>redial<

“Welcome to Three... Did you know we've been rated Number 1 for iPhone by an independent Yougov survey....

“Please choose one of the following options”
“If you’re considering buying from us press ONE for all other customer services enquiries press TWO”

>presses one<

Twenty minutes and Several Options Later.... Including a fun five minutes when it keeps sending me round in circles through the same options menu...

Her “Hello this is Ashila from Three how may I help you today”

Me “Look I’ve got this problem reference order XXXXXX...... [proceeds to give her chapter and verse on the whole sorry tale]

Her “Madam, I can see your order on the system it has been released”

Me “So why did the woman from phones4u say she wouldn’t release my order for despatch??”

Her “I’m not sure, you will have to call despatch directly as I cannot put you through from here. This is the number XXXXX XXXXXX”

Me **sigh** “Thank you”

>dials<

Despatch “Hi your through to Kevin at Three How may I help you today??”

Me “Hi Kevin, sorry you have to hear all this.... [Again proceeds to go through the last hour and a half of Three induced torment”

Kevin “Yes Miss S, I understand your frustration, just to let you know that your order is released, Royal Mail will be collecting it from us tomorrow and will be with you on Tuesday”

Me “Oh, Right”

Beep Beep.. Beep Beep

Me “hang on I’ve just got a text from you .... Yes thanks that’s showing despatched now”

Kevin “thanks for calling Three is there anything else I can help you with today”

Me “No... But if this phone doesn’t materialise on Tuesday I WILL be raining Hate and Misery down on Three, you know that don’t you?”

Kevin “Yes Miss, thank you, goodbye”

Three, you may be coming top in Yougov surveys.. But you are BOTTOM of my list in terms of customer engagement

 

Wacky Rules - 24/2/11 - @dirtbiker13 via Twitter

A friend of mine works for a charity, supporting children with disabilities, they take care of children for a session, giving the parents a break from looking after them, usually 2-4 hours.
They regularly Take children to parks and play areas fast food and bowling venues as the things they can do is often limited.

This week two workers took two severely disabled 6yr old twins to Wacky warehouse in Nuneaton, where they were treated quite poorly by the young staff, who didn't seem to have any disability awareness training at all, treating the kids like outcasts, and generally turning a treat for them in to a nightmare.

So my beef is, if a place accepts kids of all abilities in to their facility (and takes payment for it) then they should treat all the children on an equal basis, it seems that Wacky warehouse like the revenue, but don't like to train their young staff about discrimination.

It would be interesting to hear if any other people have experienced the poor training at WW.

Cheers, and keep up the good work rattling the cages

 

Kwik Fit versus AngryBritain and The Times Money - 19/2/11

Click the thumbnails to enlarge

 

Rubbish Driving - 18/2/11 - @floridaphil01 via Twitter

The next time you eventually get passed the dust cart that has been impeding your progress please make sure that you then proceed to stop at very frequent intervals positioning your vehicle in such a way as to totally block traffic in both directions.

Please make absolutely sure that the driver of the dust cart can clearly see that there is indeed a perfectly good space that you could of used to allow for the continuing free flow of traffic but instead you elected to completely block the road and to make him wait, just like he made you wait.

Continue to do this for as long as possible to demonstrate just how much it ****** people off.

Or is it just me.......

 

Comedy Gold from KwikFAIL - 14/2/11 - AngryMan

From: noreply@kwik-fit.com
Subject: Kwik Fit Customer Satisfaction Questionnaire
Date: 14 February 2011 09:47:52 GMT
To:

Dear Mr

Thank you for buying your tyres through www.kwik-fit.com. We would very much appreciate your feedback on the whole experience and would be grateful if you could complete a short online questionnaire which will help us monitor and improve our service.

Please click http://www.kwik-fit.com/questionnaire.asp?lu=KF76-1457267&sec to access the questionnaire.

This should take no longer than 5 minutes. If there are any matters which would wish to discuss please contact us via www.kwik-fit.com/contact.

Thank you again for your custom. We do appreciate that you have a choice of provider and we hope to have lived up to your expectations and to see you again soon.

Yours sincerely,

XXXXX XXXXX
Customer Service Director

Kwik Fit (GB) Limited, Bridgewater Place, Water Lane, Leeds LS11 5DY Reg. No. 1009184

 

 

RyUnfair! - 11/2/11 - via Journalist Source - National Paper

Press Release

Which? to launch super-complaint against ‘rip-off’ card surcharges

Which? has today announced plans to launch a super-complaint against the surcharges that many retailers impose when customers pay with a debit or credit card.

The consumer champion will use its powers* to force the Office of Fair Trading (OFT) to investigate card surcharges, which are often sprung on the customer at the point of payment and can be far in excess of what it costs the retailer to process the transaction**.

Low-cost airlines are among the worst offenders, with some charging a fee per passenger, per leg of the journey, in spite of the fact that they only have to process one transaction.

For example, a family of four booking a return flight with Ryanair would be charged £40 to pay by card when the cost to the airline would be around 20 pence to process a debit card payment and no more than 2% of the transaction value for a credit card. The same family would be charged £38 by Flybe and £5.50 by Easyjet for paying for return flights by card.

Which? also has found that local authorities, estate agents, cinemas and even the DVLA*** are now beginning to levy excessive charges for paying by card.

The super-complaint is Which?’s first since 2007 and kicks off the consumer champion’s new campaign against rip-off charges, which consumers can support by signing its online petition at www.which.co.uk/ripoff. The petition will be submitted along with the super-complaint to the OFT on Monday 7 March.

Which? chief executive, Peter Vicary-Smith, says:

"There's simply no justification for excessive card charges - paying by card should cost the consumer the same amount that it costs the retailer. Companies shouldn't be using card processing costs as an excuse for boosting their profits."

"Low-cost airlines are some of the worst offenders when it comes to excessive card surcharges but this murky practice is becoming ever more widespread, from cinemas to hotels and even some local authorities."

Ends

Notes to editors

*Which?, as a registered consumer charity, has legal powers under the Enterprise Act 2002 enabling it to file super-complaints with the Office of Fair Trading (OFT). A super-complaint allows designated consumer bodies to complain to the OFT and specific sectoral regulators about market features that may be significantly harming consumers' interests. Once Which? has submitted its super-complaint to the OFT, the regulator has 90 days to respond. Which? last issued a super-complaint in May 2007, when it asked the OFT to investigate the Scottish Legal Services market.

**Which? has found that the charges consumers pay can be significantly higher than the actual cost to the retailer which we believe is no more than 20 pence for debit cards. When using a credit card, the cost to the retailer is a percentage of the transaction value, we think no more than two per cent. However, charges to the consumer are often a fixed amount or can increase because of the number of people purchasing tickets.

Ryanair’s Stephen McNamara said:

“Before making ‘Super Duper Complaints’ the clueless clowns at ‘Which, Who or What’ magazine, should conduct some basic research. Ryanair does not levy any credit or debit card payment ‘surcharges’. Even our administration fee is avoidable by passengers who use our recommended MasterCard Prepaid.

Isn’t it bizarre that this useless and irrelevant ‘consumer magazine’ is again complaining about ‘low cost airlines’ while, yet again, ignoring British Airway’s unjustified, unfair and unavoidable fuel surcharges. Perhaps this is why 78m passengers this year will chose to fly Ryanair while less than 30m will fly on fuel surcharging BA, and less than one man and his dog will buy the useless and irrelevant ‘Which, Who or What’ magazine.

If it wasn’t for dentist waiting rooms or doctors’ surgeries it is doubtful whether anyone even reads the useless and frequently inaccurate ‘Which, Who or What’ magazine.”

Comment:

Dear Angry.
I read the arrogance of Mr. Mcnamara with sadness and anger, I recently went to the supermarket, the price of the goods I bought were clearly shown on the shelf below the item I intended to buy. Now according to Mr. Mcnamara, I should proceed to the checkout to be told that the price for the goods in my basket is twenty quid plus a tenner to cover the costs of transport and use of a card.
How can he hold a responsible job when his brain works in this way, or is he just a Ryanair gobs****?
Keep up the good work!
Regards

Peter W via Email - 14.2.11

 

KwikFAIL Respond! (Again) - 10/2/11 - AngryMan

From: XXXX@kwik-fit.com
Subject: Out of Office AutoReply: complaint / query
Date: 9 February 2011 18:50:40 GMT
To: angryman@angrybritain.com

I AM CURRENTLY ON ANNUAL LEAVE PLEASE CONTACT CUSTOMER SERVICE @ customer.services@kwik-fit.com
PLEASE NOTE THAT ANY CLOSES/ UPDATES WILL NOT BE ACTIONED IN MY ABSCENCE

XXXXX

Kwik Fit (GB) Limited, Bridgewater Place, Water Lane, Leeds LS11 5DY Reg. No. 1009184 www.kwik-fit.com

AngryBritain says 'Oh dear. #FAIL '

 

AngryBritain Responds! - 10/2/11 - AngryMan

From: angryman@angrybritain.com
Subject: Re: complaint / query
Date: 9 February 2011 18:50:26 GMT
To: xxxx@kwik-fit.com

Dear XXXX

Any that's it is it? The official line from Kwik Fit?

No apology for the unprofessional manner in which your staff treat their customers or for disgusting way in which I was spoken to by the manager of that branch? No apology for the massive inconvenience you've caused me and the distress you caused my fiancee? No apology for length of time or the manner in which this complaint has been dealt with or for the quality of your response? No 'We'd like to do this to make up for the incredibly poor service you've received?'.

Frankly, Kwik Fit are a disgrace. If you believe your response 'frames' an apology or rectifies my beef, you are sorely mistaken.

You can expect to see this response tagged onto my original post at AngryBritain.com shortly.

Should you wish to discuss further, you know where I am.

Regards

Mr XXXX
AngryBritain.com

 

KwikFAIL Respond! - 10/2/11 - AngryMan

From: XXXX@kwik-fit.com
Subject: RE: complaint / query
Date: 9 February 2011 15:58:14 GMT
To: angryman@angrybritain.com:

Dear Mr XXXXX

Following our recent emails I am able to frame the following response.

Our centre staff were correct in the price that they quoted. Like other businesses where online customers book and pay in advance, we offer lower prices online than on the high street. Because we have the benefit of more time to move specific tyres where and when they are required by customers, our costs online are lower. We are therefore able to pass those cost savings on to the online customer. Most online tyre retailers operate in the same way and do not offer same-day fitting.

Yours sincerely

XXXXX
Kwik-Fit (GB) Ltd

 

KwikFAIL! - 7/2/11 - AngryMan

'It failed the MOT on the tyre. He's just fitting the tyre now, it's £142.50' said Mrs AB2B followed by my eruption in a cloud of expletive ridden rage. 'Sorry Darling, have you traded the car in for a Lamborghini today?'. 'No'. 'They are taking the p*ss out of you, that tyre shouldn't be any more than about £70. Put me on to him'. So, the spanner monkey takes the phone 'Yeah', 'Could you tell me why you are trying to charge my missus £142.50 for a tyre? Don't you have anything cheaper?'. 'Er, yeah'. 'Right, so what have you got?' 'Er, Arrowspeed innit'. 'Right, well obviously I don't want that sh*t on my car do I? What else do you have?'. 'Er, that's it innit?' 'Give me the size and I'll look it up on BlackCircles.com' '205/55/16W Continental Sport Contact 2'. 'Right, you mean the one that is £78.04 fitted, the very same one I can order from them and have fitted by you within 24 hours? Are you taking the p*ss?' 'Er I dunno, I'm just a worker innit? I'll get the manager'. The 'Manager' takes the phone 'Yeah'. 'Yeah, could you tell me why you are trying to rip my missus off for a tyre?' 'We aint' 'Yes you you are, not only is that same tyre £78.04 on BlackCircles.com, it is £83.07 on YOUR OWN WEBSITE' 'Now, I want you to fit it at that price while she's there' 'I can't' 'What do you mean you can't? I've just caught you f*cking red-handed trying to take advantage of my missus because she's on her own, and doesn't know any better and now you're telling me you're not going to sort it out so she can get on her way, with the two children who are currently screaming down your waiting room?' 'No, I don't have to deal with this' and walks away. Mrs AB2B takes the phone 'What shall I do?' 'Tell him to put the old tyre back on and I'll sort it online' she tells him and he responds 'Order it online now and I'll change the appointment and do it at that price' 'Why should I? Just do it at that price, you've been busted and I want you to sort it out' 'I can't'. So, I ordered the tyre online at £83.07 and he fitted it, no apology, no red faced embarrassment at being caught red handed trying to rip off a defenceless mum. Nothing. A total and utter disgrace. So, being me, I went to Twitter and it appears Mrs AB2B is not alone in being the victim of an attempted vehicle robbery. I've heard tales of complete new exhausts being fitted where a £15 joint would suffice, trying to rip off a lady - who just so happened to be a traffic officer, and my favorite a lady who called for a tyre price and was quoted £60 more than the price her husband got when he called back 10 minutes later. Sounds eerily familiar that one. So, for the want of not wishing to sound like Andy Gray, ladies, you have been warned. Particularly if you happen to be booked into the Watford Arches Kwik Fit anytime soon. 'We're the boys to trust' I beg to differ. #FAIL.